TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. THE BASICS
1.1 What is this FAQ?
1.2 What is Quasispace Portal Theater 3000?
1.3 What is a 'MiSTing'?
2. JOINING QPT3K
2.1 How do I join QPT3K?
2.2 How do I get in the theater?
2.3 Is there anything I should do before suggesting a 'fic to MiST?
2.4 Should I ask the author of the original item if I can make a MiSTing of it?
3 WRITING THE MISTING
3.1 How should I go about writing the MiSTing?
3.2 Are there any sort of riffs that I should avoid?
3.3 How obscure can I make my riffs?
3.4 What is the Crow Syndrome?
4 DISTRIBUTING THE MISTING
4.1 When I'm done with the MiSTing, what should I do?
4.2 Should I expect feedback?
5 COMMON MISTAKES
5.1 Grammar mistakes
6. 'REQUIRED' READING
7. OTHER MISCELLANEOUS QUESTIONS
7.1 My avatar is a super-duper tellurgic mad uber Eva with INCREDIBUL CHEE POWURZ and a pony, does that sound okay? 
7.2 I don't get these jokes.
7.3 Who's this MMK guy and why do you keep bringing him up?
7.4 What's with the elephants?
7.5 Aren't you guys, well, awfully derivative? 
7.6 Who's in charge here?
7.7 Is your mom free tonight?

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1. THE BASICS

1.1 What is this FAQ?
This FAQ (Frequently Answered Questions) is specifically for the MiSTing group known collectively as Quasispace Portal Theater 3000, also referred to as QPT3K. 

The most recent version of this FAQ can be found on the QPT3K website at http://www.quasispace.org.

1.2 What is Quasispace Portal Theater 3000?
First, you should be familiar with the concept of what Mystery Science Theater 3000 is. If you aren't, please visit <http://www.mst3k.com/> and get all the gory details.

Like most television shows, a dedicated fan base formed around MST3K; and as always, people started writing fanfics about it. However, while there are a handful of fanfics related the adventures of Joel or Mike or whomever, most of the fanfics relating to MST3K have been in the form of 'MiSTings' (see below). 

As an offshoot of this, several individuals from the Octagon Rumble interested in MiSTing self-insert fanfics gathered together and formed the Mystery Octagon Theater 3000 (MOT3K) (now defunct). QPT3K was originally a spinoff from MOT3K, and although it maintains a close relationship with MOT3K (especially several specific characters), QPT3K has developed a personality all its own.

1.3 What is a 'MiSTing'?
As there are hundreds if not thousands of bad movies out there that Joel/Mike and the bots are forced to watch, there are thousands if not millions examples of bad fanfiction. These 'fics have caused many readers many an hour of pain and torture in reading them, and in order to alleviate that pain, we do what Joel/Mike and the bots did - riff the article to shreds. Of course, there are some self-imposed restrictions that we place on ourselves before selecting an item for MiSTing (see below).

Please note that QPT3K performs non-standard MiSTings with a non-standard cast of characters. You have been warned.

2. JOINING QPT3K

2.1 How do I join and write for QPT3K?
All we ask is that you introduce yourself before you post anything else on the message board, like, say, additional riffs. Introducing your avatar, if you have one, would be nice, but strictly speaking it's not really necessary.

2.2 How do I get into the theater?
Now, before we go any further: don't ask to be in the theater if you don't want to subject your avatar to horrible, horrible things. And I should warn you, I don't just mean the mental trauma of watching bad fanfiction. I also mean leaving your beloved self-insert at the mercies of our crack (smoking) team of writers, who may decide to do things like turn you into an oversized toy or give you a fetish for certain types of confections, all in the name of a cheap laugh. You will need to take this in stride.

If, after having read the above paragraph, you still want to be in the theater, we ask that you "shadow-MiST" (i.e., write riffs for) at least one episode beforehand. That way, you can get a feel for this asylum first, and the inmates can, in turn, get to know you a little bit better.

2.3 Is there anything I should do before suggesting a 'fic to MiST?
Yes, actually...

First, make sure you've read your item through sufficiently so that you know the material is actually worthy enough to MiST. If there are only a few points where you can insert riffs and jokes, the final product won't be much different from the original, and you'll fail to get the point of MiSTing it across.

Consider the author of the work. If the author of a work is a non-native English speaker, or is someone with a learning disability, it may seem rude to make a MiSTing of their work, especially if you plan to target the poor writing. On the other hand, plain ol' college students can be easy fair game.

Make sure that you won't run into repercussions from the original author of the work. See the following question for that. Because of this, it is highly suggested that you avoid MiSTing works done by professional writers that are not in the public domain.

2.4 Should I ask the author of the original item if I can make a MiSTing of it?
You ought to. Generally, with items like fanfiction, the author will have felt that they put a lot of work into their 'masterpiece' only to see it torn down by hecklers. Of course, some welcome the MiSTings with open arms; it is a form of feedback, after all. But some MiSTings have been pulled from archives because it was later discovered that the author of the original work had not granted permission; in most cases, the author would have allowed the work to be MiSTed if permission was requested. This is mostly a judgment call on your part, but if you feel that the author might see the final MiSTed work and might care about it, you should send the author an email about it, and ask him politely about MiSTing his work. If s/he says no, take it as a no, and go on looking for another item. But if the reply is yes, or there is no reply after a sufficient length of time (2 weeks, usually), then go for it! However, do keep the author's reply around, in case s/he retracts at your posting at a later point.

Do realize that works of fanfiction are copyrighted (even if not implied in the work), so asking for permission on these is not just a moral right, it's also a legal one.

3. WRITING THE MISTING

3.1 How should I go about writing the MiSTing?
If you can, try to watch either "This is MST3K" (the Comedy Central version) or "The Making of MST3K" (the SciFi version), two shows that get behind the scenes and describe how Best Brains puts their heads together. Or, even better, get a copy of the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, which has similar information.

If you can't, or if that's not enough, think about how Best Brains does their job - they watch each movie multiple times (6-7) before the episode is completed. The first two times are to get the feel of the movie, the next 2 to generate the gags, the 5th and 6th times to trim/improve the gags to the cream of the crop, and then a final run-through before taping.

Similarly, with the QPT3K MiSTings, you should read the article fully before you start making riffs on it. The section (usually a pre-defined segment, such as a chapter) will be posted to the MiSTing board on the website, at which point you may feel free to add riffs. Each MiSTing is compiled and edited once the MiST is complete.

3.2 Are there any sort of riffs that I should avoid?
While spelling and grammar errors are common in most of the fanfics and other posts that are made into MiSTings, the classic "Grammar Flame" riff gets old fast. If the author made a typo, simply skip over it, unless the typo produces a humorous result. Otherwise, if the entire fanfic appeared to be filled with typos and bad grammar, have a riff about that at the start of the MiSTing, then let it drop, or don't even mention it at all.

Remember that, save for a few cases, MiSTings are not meant to insult the author, only the end work. Do not include insults, personal attacks, or death threats to the author of the work. If you have established a good relation with the author (as with Stephen Ratliff, for example), jabs at the writing style or similar features of the fanfic are probably okay. This type of riff is a more of a learn-by-example case, to understand where the line between a joke and an insult is. If in doubt, avoid the riff.

3.3 How obscure can I make my riffs?
If you include a joke that only you and the guy at 313 Elm Street will get, that's good. But you should be able to mix these very obscure jokes with jokes that everyone will get to get a pleasant mix of common humor and in-jokes. Don't make every joke obscure. (Keep in mind the quantity of common and obscure refs that are used in the show itself as a good judge for obscurity.)

3.4 What is the Crow Syndrome?
The Crow Syndrome is generally defined as the response that Mike/Joel and Tom would have to an innuendo or otherwise inappropriate comment that Crow would say; generally of the following form.

CROW: (some offcolor comment)
JOEL/MIKE: CROW!

In terms of the number of times that it has been used over the years, this bit of riffing gets old very very fast. Yes, the MiSTing community does agree that Crow's mind does run afoul many times, and the offcolor comment may be appropriate. However, to continually have Mike or Joel respond in a authoritative way has been overplayed.

It is suggested that you avoid Crow Syndrome as much as possible. This is not to say not to use it altogether. You might find a joke where the riffing fits in perfectly, and if it does, go ahead and use it. But if you find yourself falling into the Crow Syndrome pattern, either work those lines out of your story, or attempt to address the Crow Syndrome at an early point of the MiSTing, and then forget about any Mike/Joel comment to the various Crow lines.

Although we have a bit more leniency regarding this rule, we ask you not to go overboard. We wouldn't want the whole thing to be hentai riffs followed by gratuitous violence now, would we?

4. DISTRIBUTING THE MISTING

4.1 When I'm done with the MiSTing, what should I do?
At QSP3K, editing is done by a select few members. It's just one of those tasks that goes more smoothly with just a few people participating. If, after completing an episode with us, you'd like to volunteer your services, feel free but don't be offended if the answer is 'No, thanks.' That's not necessarily a reflection on you, rather it can simply indicate that we have enough staff at the time. In the meantime, kick back and wait for the rough draft to be posted and try participating in one of our shorter MiSTs.

4.2 Should I expect feedback?
Not necessarily. If a riff is questionable, the editors may approach you, but most likely they will not. If it becomes *too* questionable, the editors will simply cut or modify it as necessary.

5. COMMON MISTAKES

5.1 Grammar mistakes
As stated previously, you should thoroughly check your work for grammar and spelling errors. (Not the original work - you'll want to leave that untouched.)
Some common mistakes:

- "your" vs "you're" - The first is a possessive adjective, indicate "That is your car sitting there", while the latter is a noun-verb contraction that is short for "you are".

- "there", "their", and "they're" - "There" is a place, "their" is a possessive adjective, and "they're" is short for "they are".

- "its" vs "it's" - The first is a third-person possessive adjective, the second is a contraction of "it is". Talk about its horns, then say that it's coming towards us.

More about this can be found in the QPT3K Style Guide.

6. 'REQUIRED' READING

While there are plenty of MiSTings out there that you can use as an example for creating your own work, there are some MiSTings that stand out above the rest. In the past, these works have inspired others to start their own MiSTings, or, by the sheer quality of it, have been reference repeated in other MiSTings. Here is a small list of these MiSTings, which, may not necessarily be the best ones, should help you see what good MiSTings are like. Try googling for these, some are more readily available than others.

Hopping Mad Over MST3K - MiSTing by Daniel Rice - The first apparent MiSTing ever posted to USENET, and thus, earns this special spot on this list.

Treklander - MiSTing by Petrea Mitchell, Steve Brinich, and Jason Cohen - Besides being a good example of a group MiSTings with all-around excellent riffs, this also shows how a MiSTing done in a "Mystery Science Theater Hour" format can work. The initial work is a crossover between Star Trek and Highlander, and also had a sequel.

Enterprized - MiSTing by David Hines - The first of the Stephen Ratliff fanfics, this MiSTing inspired many authors to dig into the dregs of alt.startrek.creative in order to see what else they could find.

Time Speeder - MiSTing by Mike Barklage, Petrea Mitchell, and Jess Nevins - While late in Stephen Ratliff's 'Marrissa' series, this particular installment has been dubbed as the worst of the worst. Recommended for the sheer drop-your-jaw factor it can induce.

The Eye Of Argon - MiSTing by Adam Cadre - The original version of this story (sans riffs) held a status in certain literary circles as being one of the few stories that one could not read out loud without breaking into laughter (and this was challenged many times at conventions). Thus, the riffing of this was only a natural extension of this 'challenge'. The MiSTing itself also excels at a good matchup of the host segments to the material in this story.

X - written by Kelly & Greg Newcomb - A rather basic MiSTing, using Mike and the bots, but with a great collection of host segments and riffs that take apart this weak X-Men fanfic.

The Rangers of NIMH - MiSTing by Håkan Svensson and Kevin Pezzano - Besides being a rather well done riffing of a terrible piece of fanfiction, it also shows about the limits that one can write explicit riffs without crossing the line, even if the original work is well over it.

Agent Action! - MiSTing by Bill Livingston - An excellent MiSTing of a non-fanfiction based work (this particular piece being an ad for an upcoming film with ACTION!) Plus, it shows how to include shorts into a MiSTing.

7 OTHER MISCELLANEOUS QUESTIONS

7.1 My avatar is a super-duper tellurgic mad uber Eva with INCREDIBUL CHEE POWURZ and a pony, does that sound okay? 
Huh, boy.

A regular old human would be *much* better. Personality quirks and odd interests lend themselves much better to humor than do improbable superpowers.

Besides, have you *seen* how much we mock Mary Sues?

We do, in fact, let some improbable superpowers slide, but only because they're funny. Ask Brandt or Cosmos. They know.

7.2 I don't get these jokes.
It's okay. We love you anyway.

Check out the "Riffola Obscura" and "Riffola Musica" for each episode.

7.3 Who's this MMK guy and why do you keep bringing him up?
"Ze MMK iz juzt zis guy, you know?"

OK, well, to make a long story short, the MMK, or the MultiMediocre Knight, is a Jolt-swilling Canadian from Mystery Octagon Theater famous for his madcap humor and bizarre, over-the-top antics. A brief summary of the MOT mythos and its relation to QPT3K can be found here. (Oh yeah, and several of our cast members happen to be fanatically obsessed with him and have formed a cult in his honor.)

7.4 What's with the elephants?
In MOT, every once in a while when the MMK got too rowdy, the current Mad dropped an elephant on him to calm him down. This happens every once in a while in our theater, too, because we happen to think it's funny. Hee, hee.

7.5 Aren't you guys, well, awfully derivative? 
Yeah. That was sort of the plan, actually.

Originally, QPT3K was conceived as a MOT spin-off, designed to handle the flood of interested newbies that had descended on the MOT3K message boards. However, we've since grown a couple orders of magnitude, and have started to develop our own, uh, unique style. For further explanation of what exactly is MOT-derived, go here.

7.6 Who's in charge here?
Good question. Now, never ask it ever again.

Seriously, QPT3K is quite definitely an anarchy. Currently t.ogre, Cosmos and Chimera sort of run things, delegate, and edit by the Mongolian clusterfuck method, with some help from all of the other contributors as needed. If you're a competent writer and you want to help us out, by all means lend a helping hand.

7.7 Is your mom free tonight?
No, but I hear your dad and Thief have plans for dinner and a movie. (And by dinner, I mean sex. And by a movie, I mean Thief is videotaping it.)